longing.

Sometimes I wonder if it is better to have experienced wonderful things in life and to be able to recall every detail of those memories and miss those moments so much that you wish you could just go back to them, or if it is better to have not experienced wonderful things and not know what you're missing.. because knowing the wonderfulness of what you once had and knowing it will never be exactly like that again is hard to deal with.

Right now I am missing all the people I met in Europe and just living in Spain and being able to fly to Paris for a few days just because I want to meet up with French friends.. I know my life will never be like it was for the first 6 months of this year ever again, and that is sometimes hard to wrap my mind around. Those 6 months were definitely the best 6 months of my life. I constantly replay memories in my mind of things I experienced and of people that I befriended and can't help but smile to myself while thinking of each one. I don't think I will ever get over this longing to revisit that time period of my life.

I remember hearing this song play on my computer during my last month or two in Spain and crying when I realized that that period of my life was almost over.. and that this song would soon be all too true. and it is.

"Ours" by The Bravery

After tonight,
who knows where we'll be tomorrow
what if we're never here again?

After tonight
This will be a lifetime ago
so let's stay up until the sky bleeds red.

And we'll stop stop stop the world from moving
Stop stop stop the clocks from turning
Stop this night from fading away

This time is ours
If I could hold this moment in my hands
I'd stop the world from moving
I'd stop the clocks from turning

This time is ours
inside a frozen memory of us
And we are motionless, motionless

Gone like a dream that I have just awoken from
Fading away, just out of reach
And we are here, but I already miss you
even as you're lying next to me

And we'll stop stop stop the world from moving
Stop stop stop the clocks from turning
Stop this night from fading away

This time is ours
If I could hold this moment in my hands
I'd stop the world from moving
I'd stop the clocks from turning

This time is ours
inside a frozen memory of us
And we are motionless, motionless